*Strong language in text
Ok, so I have to rant or else I feel like I’m going to explode.
Firstly, let me say that I don’t have enough nice things to say about my home country and people. Vietnamese are amongst the bravest & nicest people in my opinion. Northern people are very well-versed and tend to be more sophisticated in their conversations and writing. People in the South are more chill, hard-working and kind-hearted. I have to say all these first to calm myself first or else I’ll be shouting at the top of my lungs “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” every time anyone does/says anything rude. Ok, I want to take the “nice” word back. We are NOT nice people. Just brave. We fought (and won) endless wars in the past. Some people treat the streets like the fucking F1 court. It has been proven that we’re one hell of a rude & impolite nation according to foreign tourists that come to our country and being treated like shit. I’ve heard nasty things expats say about Vietnamese, and I have to say I had to agree with them on a lot of things. We’re not even THAT nice to our own people to be honest.
But man do some people out there really lack basic politeness and common sense. I’m not saying I’m a morally perfect person, but I always try my best to practice these two things: politeness and having some common senses. I have lost count of the times I’ve heard things like “You look fat (ter), did you gain weight?” or “What’s your weight?” Or “I heard you’ve just got promoted. How much do you earn. Life must be so easy for you” before even saying hello. Excuse me. Hello, how are you. Long time no see. And bitch, where is your fucking common sense? Need I point out to you the wrong things with you, starting with your face first? It was funny that they got offended when I replied them with my weight + 10 kgs with a straight face. It was fucking hilarious. You were impolite, so let me entertain you with my wit and dark sense of humor. It’s only necessary to add here that the Asian kind of “fat” is very different that the Western kind.
Do I notice your appearance first hand before even greeting you? NO. Unless you have grossly dirty hair, very bad breath or unbearable body odor. I think I have a resting bitch face because I always have to secretly stopped myself from saying super mean things to them at the back of my mind all the time. THANK GOD I have a fucking RBF so I didn’t have to hear what they have to say. Such people will feel a bit more intimidated to strike such stupid shit with me. What do they do then to make themselves feel better? What if they REALLY have to comment something about me? They’d find a way to tell my parents. Oh wow, such dedication. Come, I give you a round of slow clapping.
Having surrounded myself with the same work circle with my parents was so bad. THE WORST. I should have gotten the fuck out wayyyyyy longer. It’s never about how hard you work, how polite you are to people, how dedicate & caring you are to your team… I alway walked around with noise-cancelling headsets on. My eyes never wander. I never minded other people’s businesses in my old work place. I didn’t gossip. I focused on my shit, and always tried to get shit done. I was respectful to the seniors, welcoming to the new people. If I don’t like you, I won’t talk to you. I’m a very straightforward person. Be nice to me and I’ll make sure to be 10x nicer, fuck with me and I’ll ignore you. Or fuck with you back, this really didn’t happen too often. I’m very prone to dramas. Most of the time, I’d rather stay out of your way. I never made it my priority to be everyone’s Miss Friendly. Sorry for being real. Bitch please, if I want to talk to you, I would have smiled so big with you from a smile away. All the people before me in that position ended up hating and fucking left the company, and so did I. I have come to realize we all share a same the same thing: a bad reputation when it comes to attitudes. I never got it, but it’s now clearer than ever, it is impossible to please everyone/get shit done. In such environment, you can be Miss Friendly and make everyone like you, OR be focused and get shit done. I had someone in the team to be friendly face so that I could do my shit in peace. It fucking worked, OK. But let’s be real… the people who tend to be result-oriented, work extra hard don’t often get the recognition they deserve in such a environment. But it’s ok now. I’m cool, I’m chill, I’m not there anymore. Phew. But the shit hasn’t stopped YET.
But why though… Most of the times I’ve heard shit talking about me are from the people I give zero fuck about. Like, excuse me, when did I last talk/see you? What’s your name? I really don’t give a fuck.
I know my parents, especially my mother, love me very much but I have to say I don’t like when the first things I hear from her in the morning is her criticizing me about my appearance. Tell me it does not bother you one bit when you have to start your day with such negativity. Mind you that being in a rather conservative country, I have never really done anything outrageous with how I look. If it’s not “Why do you have so many imples”, “Your makeup makes you look old” or “You have a lot of fat around the hip”. She is not the only one. She was brought up that way. She’s actually a lot better than my grandma according to what she says. I don’t like it but I can tolerate it because she is my mother, and I know that she cares but…. Older people in this country think that they have the right to comment on pretty much anyone and anything. They can point out exactly what’s wrong with you (according to them) from top to toe but what they can’t do is realize they have far way more problems that I’d be happy to point out if they really want to go down that path.
Lucky that all these things I have problems with often are with the older generation, people in my parents’ generation. Some of them are the rudest, most impolite people I’ve ever ever met my entire life. And they have zero common sense when it comes to social etiquette. I’m glad the younger generations are doing a lot better. Call young people whatever you want, spoilt, egoistic, self-absorbed and narcissist (I’m practically describing myself here) but you have to agree, younger people are more polite have have better common sense. And again, please take a very careful look at yourself when you have time because you’re not any short of problems before you want to judge/criticize someone. We have a saying that reads “Uốn lưỡi bảy lần trước khi nói” ok. Don’t get me started on other nosy questions like “When are you getting married”, “When are you giving birth?”, “How much is your pay” and the likes I’d flip the fuck out of you.
And let me just bluntly put this down here. Aside from having a pure talent at body shaming, a lot of Vietnamese people are also racist and homophobic. It’s a fact. And I’m sorry to say that I’m very against these things.
Ok, so I just read some of the comments after some girl’s Facebook post saying that Vietnamese are fucking rude & always body shame. To hell with those who say that “I say that because I care”, “Praising is easy. But only I only give positive criticism because we’re close” or “If you do not wished to be body shamed, go live in the mountains because people are entitled to their opinions”- all of them come from guys. Well, then how about I think that you’re fucking rude, uneducated and I’m sure your dicks are tiny too. I’d rather die alone than getting myself involved with those fuckers.
This AGAIN reminds me of something that quite bothered me a few months back. So, I replied to this guy who wished me a happy birthday, purely out of politeness. And then I proceeded to ask him about my ex-pet that he is now taking care of. He didn’t reply me for a couple days. Ok, fine, you do you. When he did, I continued the convo without thinking too much into it. He again, took a couple of days to answer some simple questions about the dog, like how’s he doing, how does he look now, can you send me some pictures, and he said he had to fucking go to bed at 8PM. Ok, still fine. Not that I care too much. Finally, he had the audacity to send me a fucking long sms saying how big of a ego I have not begging him to reply. Like, I deliberately took 3 days to reply and you didn’t say anything. Your ego is really higher than (something stupid and made no sense I never bothered to remember). And I must have felt weird/strange/a lot of mixed feelings things (because we were casually dating for like… 3 months forever ago?) talking to him again after a while. I was like huh, what are you even talking about? Usually it’d be annoyed because it was you who started the conversation, and you never replied, but I wasn’t. I simple thought that you were busy so I shouldn’t disturb you.
I’m glad that I texted him back saying that it was a civilized and clean cut between us so please vut all the crap. I did try hard not to drag anything. I was over it a long time ago and it’s about time he does the same thing. If it wasn’t for the dog, I really wouldn’t have bothered… Delusional and self-absorbed much? Not everything is about you.
So dear fucking nosy/ free/impolite/delusional people, go spread your negativity elsewhere. You’re literally the cancer that I have no fucking wish to have in my life.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.