I wonder if there’s such a thing as “our code”
When I deliberately write in it, you’d understand?
It goes like: Starting with two take-away tumblers of coffee in the morning, “As usual?”, the car door clicking. Continued with a drop-off, and hours of intensity,
Long walks at the beach, and waterfalls. Hidden places out of sight, glances exchanged – Knowing you knowing me knowing you.
Knowing you knowing me knowing you.
When the sun sets, our day rises. Those were the golden days, when it was just you and me.
Faces fade, but how come yours would not?
Last night in my dreams, my eyes still caught yours. Words still killed a lot inside, but lifted me right up. Thousands of thoughts running through my head – when you asked me “Please open up and share” – I still replied coyly in my one-worded sentences, hoping you’d get me.
I was never a girl of verbal words, wasn’t I?
Well, what I wanted to say is written in the falling sky,
In a candle that I lighted – 50% taekwood, 30% vanilla, 20% coffee.
/Wow, that’s intense maths, especially for me/
… In a cheesy love song you once caught me singing along to,
/I said, “It was nothing”, and switched it right off/
… In me still knowing exactly the only one person whom I want to talk to, or sit silently with,
After all those years.
Because of those memories and urges that I hold so dear,
I never regretted a single tear.
I hope you still smell like nothing, but all of the above.
Me? I still smell like all the obnoxiously sweetened artificial smells
that got you sneeze.
Wash you hands, stay out of everybody’s ways.
What I am I even saying? I’m sure all your crazy OCDs are starting to pay off. /And no, I’m not crazier than you
SGN April 6, 2020 – when I kinda miss you.