a little something for my Dad’s 62nd

before it’s too late, i want to write about my Dad

a man I’ve never written about before

a tall, proud man, I’ve come to known

a loner, a lover, a fighter who brought me to life

i bet he remembers the days we were best friends

a little girl sitting behind his back, talking about her days

blaring sun, or pouring rain, it was just the two of us

i wonder if he knew how i’d turn out to be

one day her daughter liked someone else better,

her teenage years came like a thunderstorm,

her 20s was even worse, seeking shelter from someone else was all she wanted,

one day she put on a red lipstick, and headed out of the home he built,

now that her heart belonged to some other man,

“run away with him, that’s what i’ll do”, she screamed

hearing her say that, how would a father feel?

my mom said we share the worst traits,

she has to deal with two egoistic humans at once

little does she knows, we just get hurt so easily

and sometimes, our thoughts are louder than the outside noises

i always felt like i was not enough, i was alone

the world is one big race, and i always fall behind

little did i know he had to shield me from even bigger courses,

that is myself, and his wishful thinking to change everything for me

my Dad likes to read, the kind of books that I do too,

his stories are written around the world

coast to coast, passing the mountains,

East to West, North an South,

he left his footsteps, and probably some heartbreaks too

my Dad likes music, used to be ochestra

and now songs from those CDs I got him,

he likes to laugh at smart, sarcastic jokes

he plays with carefully curated words that cut and heal at the same time

he’s been through the war, and countless hardships in life

probably the hardest being raising us kids,

a lifetime of being him, i wonder if he's tired

a lifetime of being a pillar, i wonder if he ever needs one so much,

and we are not able to give him that

i thank Heaven, we still get to go out for pizzas on his birthday,

i’m not the model daughter that he deserves,

having demons i still have to fight,

i beat myself up everyday for not doing more,

but still,

sitting across someone who hopefully will be able to share his life-long duty,

of taking care of his forever little girl,

i think i saw his eyes light up

i pray that we have him a lot longer, 

i’d trade my years for his, in a heart beat

i’d trade my tears for his, today and onwards

i hope he’s happier now,

after all those complicated years,

having pizza with his girl downstairs,

wearing a silly blue shirt that i got him,

on his 62th birthday.

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